Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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