Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
where are my eyebrows?
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