I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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