I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
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I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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