If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Randomize