Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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