you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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