addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
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