now i know why i became what i already was.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize