pedialite and red bull = repair kit
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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