good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
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We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
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And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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