I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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