rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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