Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
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Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
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I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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