I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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