how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize