Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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