We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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