I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize