I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Randomize