tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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