Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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