Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize