You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
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The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
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Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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