remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
We got so high we made milksteak
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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