you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
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If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
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You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
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