We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
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i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
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I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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