People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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