It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
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you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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