I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
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