My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
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