Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
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yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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