Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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