It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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