Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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