I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god it's open bar.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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