all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Randomize