You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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