pedialite and red bull = repair kit
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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