i need an iv and a liver transplant
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize