Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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