dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
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DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
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I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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