But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
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