what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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