Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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