White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize