You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
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Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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