You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize