I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize