he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Randomize